It won’t be long before we cap off the year of 2016. I wanted to give a brief summary of the past 12 months of my life. To look back and recall the golden events that took place (some not so golden). I’ll be honest, it’s been a heck of a ride and I could feel the pressure in my veins rise as my fist clinched tighter at every turn. Doubt knocked on my door several times. Fear being the most persistent. The excitement, the exhaust, the confusion and the pain of past events seemed to cloud my vision. Through it all, Joy stayed strong. The things I am discovering about myself, life and God are incredibly grasping yet beyond to be explained. I have learned that when you seek, you DO find. I have learned to stand in the unknown, unsure of the many questions that float freely in my mind and to be still, laying the little knowledge I possess as a human being down and to raise my sword and slay the incompetent lying tongues of deception. Searching for answers within myself left me crippled, frustrated and empty. I am learning to let go of perfection and simply be loved as I am reminded of the blunt truth that you cannot give what you have not received. This year has been one of stepping out of comfort zones, touching cold waters and lifting up heavy stones that I’ve collected overtime. There is much more to be done and said but these are a few things that shaped the path of the journey I walk now.
I started my first “real” job at an Antique mall in Foley, Alabama. That has been an adventure in itself. I had all four wisdom teeth removed the end of the month. That went well. I remember waking up thinking “They’re already done? That was fast.” totally, fully aware of my surroundings and what was going on. My sisters were probably hoping for a better reaction and a good video to taunt me with. I didn’t let them have that priveledge.
One late Tuesday night, three days after my wisdom teeth removal, me and my sister were coming home from a friends house. We came to a complete stop at a red light then suddenly we were rear ended by a drunk driver going around 60 mph. His Ford Explorer pushed our Honda Civic straight through the intersection. He was completely intoxicated and was carrying several weapons in his car. Here we are, no one else around and there’s this guy who is out of his mind with guns at reach. He wasn’t injured, all he wanted was a smoke. That night I lay in bed with the reality that we arent promised tomorrow. My sister got a rental car and we began our journey with insurance companies and chiropractic visits. The next four months would be constant visits to the chiropractor to restore our spines from the whip lash injuries. We were scheduled to go five days a week. Talk about a schedule change! Any “plans” we had were either moved around or most likely erased from our to-do list. Not too long before we returned the plush rental car, my Uncle sold me his 2004 Honda Element. My very first car. I searched for 1994 characterized chevy trucks and the like before. I didn’t imagine I could get something much better with the money I had. That was a tremendous surprise.
It’s March now. Still back and forth from the chiropractors. I was sitting at the computer when the phone rang. Hannah answered. Her voice got real low and weak. She hung the phone up looked me in the eyes and said “Nena’s gone.” after that moment there were no words, only weeping. My Uncle had called to inform us that my Grandma had died unexpectedly. My Grandpa came home from work after She had not answered anyones phone calls and found her already gone. No one was sure exactly what happened.
We knew she had some health problems but death that sudden was not a concern of anyones. There was no warning. There was nothing. It was completely unanticipated and no one was prepared. I don’t think you are ever prepared for the death of a loved one. No matter how it happens, it hurts. That month was one of tears as we mourned the loss of my Grandmother.
Life goes on. It’s not the same, but it does go on. Trials, sickness and disasters are a mystery but God is good. He’s constant, never missing a thing. We must know that deep inside when the pain runs deep and blame pries at the door eager to be released. That year would hold some disappointments but what I discovered through them could not have been grasped another way.
I had my first college tour at SCAD in Savannah, Georgia. It met all of my expectations and more. Being surrounded by so many artist turned my own artistic switch on and fueled my imagination . I called it “a melting pot of creativity.” If you are an artist, surround yourself with other artists. Go, find your people. Surround yourself with those who will inspire you, challenge you and strive for excellence with you. From then on I would be back and forth researching, viewing possibilities, calling the school, sending applications, resumes, creating a portfolio, and all I could possibly do to make it part of my future. This college thing was new not only to me but also to my parents. If there was some type of form or information I needed from them, they’d get it but they had said that college was something they couldn’t help us kids with so if we wanted to attend it was up to us.
Life’s pretty normal now. We finally came to the end of our chiropractor visits and would eventually settle up with the insurance company. Things are looking steady.
JUNE & JULY
Summer bliss, learning, discovering, growing, house sitting….
Found out I WAS ACCEPTED TO SCAD! (Savannah College of Art & Design)
August was a rush. Things happened but nothing to highlight. I like the month of August. I don’t know why. *Goes to Facebook page to see which events took place in August…AHHH, I DON’T REMEMBER! It’s a good name though. I’ll probably name my future kid August.
Not sure what happened in this month either. Probably a lot. Which is why I don’t remember. Trying to make a decision with SCAD after more questions and research. The busyness of life happened. Continuing to change, grow, learn, discover. simply doing life. I made a few new friends by now too. Not just acquaintances but real friends.
My sister had a birthday. That’s enough for October.
Still in turmoil whether or not I should attend college… but in the mean time I cast my first vote, turned twenty, toured Nashville and our family transitioned to a different church after eleven years.
I did it you guys. I enrolled in college. I’m a SCAD student this January. AND CHRISTMAS! It’s here already. Michael Buble plays on my Spotify and gingerbread cookies somehow dance their way into my mouth. The smell of evergreen trees get swept into the air! Lights and windowsilll candles being lit from house to house as fires gather families and friends close. The joy of giving is felt all around and thankfulness overwhelms our hearts as we look to the one who came in the flesh as a baby to be our King…the King of our hearts. It really is the most wonderful time of the year!